Go Ask Alice

An anonymous author, Alice, writes in her diary as if talking to a friend. She notes that she purchased the diary hoping to write about her first date with Roger, a boy she likes. However, when Roger fails to appear for their date, Alice is devastated. Her diary entry is interrupted as Alice’s mother sternly instructs Alice to clean her room. The following day, she suffers through embarrassing moments at school, trying to avoid Roger and explaining the ordeal to her friends. Alice feels that her parents belittle her and think poorly of her intelligence and maturity. She feels profoundly dissatisfied with herself.

Aside from noting her and her father’s birthdays, Alice hardly records anything in her diary over the next week. She feels bored with her school, friends, and family. Alice declines an invitation to a party. She gains seven pounds, which makes her feel “slobby.”

Alice receives exciting news at the end of the month: Her father accepted a dean position at a university in another state, and the family must move. Alice hopes the job will allow her and her family to travel to Europe. She plans to lose 10 pounds, buy trendy new clothes, and take measures to have blemish-free skin. While she’s excited about a fresh start in a new state, she thinks Roger will feel sad to see her go once she looks a certain way.

Alice babysits her younger brother, Tim, and younger sister, Alexandria (Alex), while her parents shop for a new house. The entire family bonds over the excitement of moving. While packing, Alice realizes that she cares most about taking her books. An avid reader, Alice excels in school, especially now that she has a positive outlook for the future. She observes her relationships improving with her family members, especially her mother. Roger tries to speak with Alice at school, but she doesn’t acknowledge him.

A boy at school asks Alice on a date. She believes he did so because she lost 10 pounds. She wants to lose 10 more, but her mother demonstrates concern for Alice’s health. Alice has fun on her date but isn’t romantically interested in the boy like she is in Roger. She recalls a sleepover during which she and her friends read a Playboy magazine article about a girl losing her virginity. Although Alice doesn’t feel sexually mature, she wants Roger to be her first sexual partner, perhaps in college. She can’t imagine having sex with any other boy; she believes her lack of sexual desire is a sign of slow development.

Alice’s parents sell their house, and Alice starts having mixed feelings about the upcoming move. She reflects on her good and bad memories in the house, specifically her bedroom. She confesses that she’s covering her diary in tears. Alice feels comforted knowing that she’ll take her diary with her.

Her grandparents visit for Thanksgiving, and the family enjoys a fun holiday together. Alice loves her grandparents very much and feels nervous about moving so far away from them.

Alice’s mother restricts Alice from dieting, forcing her to eat more than fruit for breakfast. She considers her mother’s attitude hypocritical since her mother dislikes when Alice “look[s] like a cow” (9). Feeling melancholic, Alice notes a disinterest in her friends and activities. She believes that teens lack individuality, wanting to listen to the same music and wear the same clothes.

As Christmas approaches, Alice shops for presents for her family. She buys her mother a single pearl pin, which she interprets as soft and strong, just like her mother. She wishes she could afford a gold pencil holder for her father’s new office desk. Alice attends a friend’s party wearing a new dress she made with her mother’s help. Alice wishes she could talk to her mother about sex. She hears rumors at school about boys pressuring girls to have intercourse, but she’s not sure what to believe. Alice enjoys the party and gets a ride home from a boy named Dick Hill. They drive around town looking at lights and singing Christmas carols, which Alice adores. She feels confused when Dick kisses her but doesn’t make any further sexual advances; Alice believes this means Dick isn’t interested in her. Feeling rejected, Alice wishes she were more popular.

On Christmas, Alice describes a merry family gathering. Although it’s sad, given that the celebration will be the last in their current house, she reports feeling genuinely happy.

Alice attends a New Year’s party at a friend’s house, describing the boys as getting “juiced.” She comes home early, anxious about her upcoming move. Alice confides in her diary that she’s worried about succeeding at a new school. Crying, she agonizes about making friends and fitting in.

A few days later, the move goes poorly. Alice’s mom is sick with a stomach bug on the drive to the new house. Upon arriving, the family realizes that the house has no power, and the movers put the furniture in the wrong rooms. Alice thinks the house seems haunted, but she remains hopeful about seeing her new home in daylight.

After a few days of unpacking, Alice thinks her new house is beautiful. She apologizes to each room for her overreaction upon arrival. Tim and Alex have already made new friends, and Alice feels jealous. She’s nervous about starting school and has a miserable first day, failing to make friends. She ditches her last period and binges on unhealthy foods at a drugstore. Recalling how poorly Alice treated new students at her previous school, Alice admits that her response to her current predicament is childish. That night at dinner, Alex and Tim provide positive, excited accounts about their first day of school. Jealous, Alice feels like an outcast in her family. She recalls her grandfather’s successful political career, expressing frustration as the only person unable to fit in.

A week goes by, and Alice still hasn’t made friends. She gains weight and reports feeling excruciatingly unhappy.

Alice gains 15 pounds and struggles emotionally over her lack of friends. Her relationship with her mother suffers, and she thinks Tim is ashamed of her appearance, especially when his friends come over.

Finally, Alice makes a friend, whom she describes as “as cloddy and misfitting as I am” (17). Alice can tell that her parents disapprove of the girl.

Alice’s mother agrees to send Alice to her grandparents’ house for the summer if her grades improve. With this plan in place, Alice commits to a new diet.

However, her relationships with her family continue to feel challenging. Her mother makes constant efforts to improve Alice’s appearance and demeanor. Her parents constantly compare her to Tim and Alex, and Alice feels resentful of her siblings. She looks forward to summer break. Her father is often busy at work, and she rarely sees him.

Alice thinks poorly of her teachers at school. However, she makes a friend named Beth. The girls have a lot in common, especially feeling nagged by their mothers. Beth’s father is a doctor and travels frequently for work. Both girls adhere to strict diets and feel self-conscious about their skin and clothes. Beth struggles with her schoolwork, and Alice helps her study.

Although Alice dislikes her mother’s reprimands, she believes that mothers are essential for superficial reasons. She doesn’t want to be a nagging mother herself, but she feels it will be inevitable. Alice remembers talking more openly with her mother as a child but now recognizes a divide.

Alice’s parents welcome Beth for dinner, and Alice’s mother takes the girls shopping afterward. Her entire family approves of Alice’s new friend. Feeling hopeful and excited for the first time in a long while, Alice explains that she needs to write about the experience to release some of her exhilaration. Alice and Beth discuss religion; Alice is Christian, and Beth is Jewish. Beth hopes to introduce Alice to her grandparents.

Beth and Alice discuss sex; Beth recounts her grandmother’s warning that if engaged, a Jewish boy has the right to withdraw his proposal if he discovers his fiancée isn’t a virgin. Although the girls don’t know how anyone would prove a girl’s virginity or lack thereof, Beth has nightmares about being abandoned at the altar. Again, Alice wishes she could talk with her mother about sex.

When school ends for summer vacation, Alice feels sad about not seeing Beth as much. They talk about boys; Beth dislikes having to date Jewish boys of her mother’s choosing. As if to prove her point, Alice and Beth go on a double date with two Jewish boys. Alice’s parents show strong approval of her date; however, the young men take Alice and Beth to see an inappropriate movie with sexual content while attempting to kiss and touch the girls. Both uncomfortable, Beth and Alice spend most of the evening ignoring their dates and hiding in the bathroom. Alice’s trust in her parents’ judgment falters.

Later in June, Beth prepares to leave for summer camp while Alice plans on traveling to stay with Gran and Gramps. She feels morose about her impending separation from Beth. She questions her sexuality, confessing to feeling jealous of the boys Beth dates. Ultimately, she decides she’s being silly and childish. She purchases a gold necklace for Beth, and the girls cry while saying goodbye. Alice recognizes that her parents are more sympathetic than Beth’s, respecting her feelings about being separated from her friend.